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Thursday September 09, 2010

SINGH N' RAP I by Kalwant Singh at Mon Jun 23, 2003 12:44:04

SINGH'N RAP I

Now this is a story all about Jeet
Who lived on New York's 14th Street

He graduated from college with a masters degree
In a field known as anthropology

He soon got a job in a research lab
But always complained "why's life so drab!"

He was constantly surrounded by geeks and nerds
With e equals m c squared their only words

He was a hard-core desi, I must say
But his wildest spirits were being kept at bay

Our desi veer could take this no more
So he decided to knock on his neighbor's door

His neighbor was a girl of Italian descent
Who spoke with an intriguing Brooklyn accent

Her name was Gina
And I wish I had seen 'er
Cause the way he had described her
Any guy would dig her!

Jeet and Gina started to date
And would hangout together till pretty late

"Meri Gori, Meri Sohni Gori" was all he'd say
"No one can come in between us - no way!"

But notorious Aunty Chugalkhor was on the prowl
She sensed something in the air - was it foul?

Oh yes yes yes -
She was definitely in luck
This, of all her stories
Would be a slam dunk!

She spotted her nephew in the mall
And that too ... oh gori de naal !!!
(AYE HAYE! Oh HO!)

Well that surely did make Aunty's day
A successful field day for her, I must say!

She headed straight back home to make a call
Undoubtedly to Jeet's mum in Balowall

Jeet's mum could not believe her ears
"Oh mera beta," she cried, wiping her tears

She tried and tried to get hold of Jeet
But each time she'd call his answerer would beep!

Where on earth could the dude be?
Well that's your imagination -
Don't ask me!

Mum's patience finally started running out
So she left a message giving him the clout

"Oh JINNY GORI noo chhadd dey
Te vapas aja aithay!"

Jeet was obviously taken by surprise
Who the hell had blown his guise?

But now was not the time to guess
He had to quickly get outta this mess

He drummed up the courage to call his mum
But before he could speak,
someone shouted "YOU BUM!"

Of course it was mother in a terrible mood
And now was not the time to be a dude!

"OH tu Amrika vich kee karda phirda
Murrh ke aja te tera viah kardiyay aithay
Ik kurrhi hagayee barrhee piyarree
Te puree seva karugee teyree!"

But Jeet was clearly not impressed
It was Gina with whom he was so obsessed

He told his mum that that was no deal
And that his piyaar for Gina was the one for real

Once again mother hit the roof
She could not believe that
Jeet was such a goof!

She hung up the phone
And in the harshest of tones cried
"Mundiya - you're now on your own."

Just the next day ...
Jeet and Gina tied the knot
And their happiness together was easy to spot

The days went on ...
But with hardly a year gone ...

Jeet Singh started to realize
What was happening
To his wallet's size!

Was Gina just after his money?
Or did she really mean it
When she'd say "Oh honey!"

A few rotten thoughts crossed his mind
But he thought he was simply just going blind

But one sad day, Gina spilled the beans
She said she was leaving for New Orleans

She had met a guy called Tom,
And so wanted a divorce
Which left our young veer in such remorse

He remembered his mum's favorite words:
"Goreeyan da koee parosa nayee hunda"
And thought to himself:
"Wasn't I a brainless munda"

The divorce settlement did take place
And he lost half his assets -
Let alone his face!

His despair could always be seen in his eyes
But everyone knows that "desiness" never dies

He soon met Mad-Mats who taught him to rhyme
And ever since then:
"ARRANGED MARRIAGE, BUSS ARRANGED MARRIAGE"
- has been his constant chime !!!!!!

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